What do workplace abusers and domestic violence abusers have in common?

I felt small Baird seemed to get perverse pleasure out of humiliating me in front of colleagues. Any chance he got he reprimanded me. His ongoing actions reminded me of an abuser from my past. I still remembered “Clint the Creep” who used many of the same tactics when he abused my mother. Those that abuse women like “Clint the Creep” use what Dr.  Evan Stark, PH.D, MSW refers to as Coercive Control.

Coercive Control is a strategy for retaining gender as the basis for privilege, person-hood, autonomy, and liberty in a world where sex discrimination is largely obsolete.

In my opinion, Dr. Ferret and the “Dream Team” were using Coercive Control.  Dr. Ferret and the “Dream Team” controlled my career and opportunities linked to my career as well as my financial independence. And they slowly gained control over my personal life.  Here are some of the ways they got away with the abuse:

  • They nit-pick.
  • They criticize.
  • They torment and badger constantly.
  • They try to get you to believe that you are doing something wrong.
  • They fabricate.
  • They misrepresent.
  • They refuse to recognize your contributions and achievements.
  • They constantly undermine your status, worth, value and potential.
  • They treat you differently.
  • They single you out and make big deals out of the smallest things.
  • They isolate you from peers and team mates.
  • They hold their power over you.
  • They separate you from your colleagues, coworkers and others.
  • They keep you away from places you enjoy.
  • They tell you that you can’t be in contact with peers, old friends,
  • They spy on you.
  • They take notes on you and make up lies about you.
  • They patronize.
  • They shout.
  • They threaten.
  • They humiliate.
  • They try to increase your responsibility and take your authority away.
  • They take your sick leave away.
  • They take your personal leave away.
  • They deny you training.
  • They change goals and objectives.
  • They destroy, twist and misrepresent everything you say.
  • They dismiss you and make you feel like trash
  • They make you ill and tremble.
  • They demean.
  • They belittle.

					
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4 comments

  1. There needs to be so much more education at school, at work, in homes about this kind of behaviour. I truly believe that many who use coercive control don’t know what they’re doing and would be surprised to find out how harmful it is. Those that submit to it…and many do, if not all, also need to recognize the signs and speak up, stop it before it gets out of control.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jennifer, with all due respect, these abusers and bullies know exactly what they are doing. They are cunning and deliberate in their actions to ruin a career and demoralize a human being. It’s cruel and others around it can see what’s happening as well. Everybody is afraid to speak up for fear of being “next”. It, in fact, often turns into mobbing. It’s awful and the bullies know that they are harming you, it’s their objective.

    Liked by 1 person

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